Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I miss vodka workout Fridays
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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