She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
