tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
