So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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