maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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