Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.

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  (248): I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard. http://tfl.nu/wcz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1339) Bad night (478)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.

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  (405): And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch. http://tfl.nu/1xo5
  Replies (12) Good night (748) Bad night (1770)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  You're going home with him aren't you?

  (386): View more from Florida

  I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house

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  (386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!" (1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house http://tfl.nu/c9az
  Replies (12) Good night (1270) Bad night (2882)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"

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  (215): YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP" http://tfl.nu/srh9
  Replies (12) Good night (865) Bad night (4467)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great

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  (908): Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great http://tfl.nu/tjsf
  Replies (38) Good night (11113) Bad night (1446)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.

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  (203): Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin? (1-203): I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight. http://tfl.nu/pi9j
  Replies (19) Good night (1579) Bad night (6297)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.

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  (314): There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already. http://tfl.nu/afo0
  Replies (14) Good night (4811) Bad night (939)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.

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  (267): he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana. http://tfl.nu/oxo3
  Replies (9) Good night (4811) Bad night (1093)
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  (510): View more from California

  Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.

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  (510): Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing. http://tfl.nu/5987
  Replies (20) Good night (6721) Bad night (1221)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.

  (928): View more from Arizona

  wow.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  But it's a REALLY good back rub.

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  (815): The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub. (928): wow. (815): But it's a REALLY good back rub. http://tfl.nu/3vfg
  Replies (27) Good night (5103) Bad night (924)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day

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  (316): I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day http://tfl.nu/h30u
  Replies (16) Good night (1502) Bad night (3914)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.

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  (+44): She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them. http://tfl.nu/h4ql
  Replies (12) Good night (3775) Bad night (1310)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..

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  (215): i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be.. http://tfl.nu/8j64
  Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (1216)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn

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  (910): Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn http://tfl.nu/f45w
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (775)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success

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  (317): Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success http://tfl.nu/u4l1
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (255)

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