"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
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My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
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Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?