he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.