Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(733): View more from

i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now

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(733): i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now http://tfl.nu/kg3x

Replies (3) Good night (2509) Bad night (1266)
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(440): View more from Ohio

obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night

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(440): obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night http://tfl.nu/wlim

Replies (100) Good night (3222) Bad night (1182)
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(914): View more from New York

I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.

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(914): I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room. http://tfl.nu/ia7u

Replies (8) Good night (921) Bad night (3641)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?

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(857): So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month? http://tfl.nu/9rfa

Replies (6) Good night (1761) Bad night (3867)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he even offered to make my bed in the morning.

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(215): he even offered to make my bed in the morning. http://tfl.nu/d13v

Replies (37) Good night (8336) Bad night (1224)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times

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(508): If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times http://tfl.nu/rglo

Replies (7) Good night (3114) Bad night (930)
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(213): View more from California

"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.

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(213): "thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups. http://tfl.nu/qpz7

Replies (17) Good night (3269) Bad night (1348)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period

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(440): Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period http://tfl.nu/lfle

Replies (8) Good night (2351) Bad night (626)
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(636): View more from Missouri

it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.

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(636): it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa. http://tfl.nu/cslo

Replies (19) Good night (1821) Bad night (580)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�

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(215): Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon� http://tfl.nu/ciq0

Replies (9) Good night (1358) Bad night (666)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative

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(610): Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative http://tfl.nu/dzmt

Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (606)
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(425): View more from Washington

Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details

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(425): Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details http://tfl.nu/91yu

Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (295)
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(850): View more from Florida

I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.

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(850): I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss. http://tfl.nu/4u28

Replies (9) Good night (527) Bad night (607)
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(630): View more from Illinois

It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help

(630): View more from Illinois

My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help

(630): View more from Illinois

This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can

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(630): It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help (630): My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help (630): This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can http://tfl.nu/n0mf

Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (409)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?

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(781): how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex? http://tfl.nu/t4vl

Replies (1) Good night (134) Bad night (379)

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