It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b