we have officially lost it.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.