I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex