I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
