I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Even my vagina gasped.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
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You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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