i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
