My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
