Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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