end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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