Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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