don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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