you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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