I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize