I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize