Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
