All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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