The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
