id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
