THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
