fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize