I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
