Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
