just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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