Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
