You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
