If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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