We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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