I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
