giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
