So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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