I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
