Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
