when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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