Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
