I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize