I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
