There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
