i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
