my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I didn't notice because vodka
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
