why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
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Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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