Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
