whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
