I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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