my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
