A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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