Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
