Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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