Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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