So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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