How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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