i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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