worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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