You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
