The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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