No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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