New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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