Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
