there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
